In lieu of 1000 chickens being slaughtered by a golf coup by an unknown assailant, farm animals have had it with their mistreatment. All across the country reports of farm animals revolting against their farmer overlords.
“The cows ain’t givin’ us milk no mo’’” says Farmer Joe McCarthy, “The pigs just keep runnin’ around the pen bitin’ each other. That’s like eatin’ a big slice of ham with a bite out of it. Hell the horses just keep racin’ each other. It’s creepin’ the hell out friend!”
The situation has escalated out of control in some places. Like in Souther Kansas, farms have completely been taken over by animals.
“First the horses kicked the doors down,” recounts Farmer Bill Bixon, “then the cows got into the back door. Meanwhile the dang pigs come in and carry the whole family downstairs! Little Jimmy tried to make a run for it to the gun closet but the chickens had got to it first. There were 7 of them tryin’ to operate a shotgun together. Finally, the horses dressaged us out of the house and the sheep escorted us off the property. They even painted over our family crest of a cornstalk wearin’ a straw hat! Man that’s been in our family for generations and it’s gone now!”
Of course, animal rights group, PETA are thrilled to see the revolt against the humans. This statement was made right before all the rescued animals broke out and burned their headquarters to the ground!